


A white lamb in a room full of wolves

by Triggerwicked



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, BAMF Steve, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Military, Romance, War, different first meeting, mcdanno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-30 21:34:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12661854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triggerwicked/pseuds/Triggerwicked
Summary: Steve has seen everything from Hell and back after being stationed in a war zone in Asia for 3 years. His hope seems dim on ever getting out, but when he recieves a care package through the "adopt a soldier" organization, Steve finds the litte hope he needs in a plushie and a letter from a 12 year old little girl.When Steve's father is suddenly murdered, Steve returns home, with a silent wish to find his hope in person.





	1. Finding hope

Steve dries his face with a towel before looking at himself in the cracked mirror. There's a long cut along his temple that itches and burns, but Steve ignores it as he throws the towel away and walks out of the little bathroom to join the rest of his team. 

They've been stranded in this village for a good month, having no progress on their targets. But at least the villagers welcomed them with open arms, and Steve had grown fond with the children there that would ask him to play football and games with him. He wished with all his heart that it could stay this quiet forever, but he knew that sooner or later he would get new messages from the top and be forced to move on. He had sent one of his men just a few days ago to get new orders, knowing that the boss wouldn't risk his own men. 

Steve had been an active SEAL for a few years before he was tasked with this team and a mission in the wilderness parts of eastern Asia. And now, 3 years later, Steve is still hunting the ghosts of the guerillas that his boss wanted him to bring down. It seemed for every pawn he took down, 2 more towers or knights stood up, and now Steve had lost count. 

" _How are you feeling?"_ His next in-command, Freddie, asks as he sneaks up on him. 

" _Fine, how are Maze and Ollie?"_ Steve asks. Even if they have had a few calm weeks, they had recently found a group of low ranking guerilla soldiers close by, and Steve and a few of his teammates had taken them down last night before they could reach the village. It had become bloody, and two of his best fighters, Maze; a giant with a heart of gold, and Ollie; one of his best snipers, had taken a few nasty hits. Now, the morning after, Steve could feel the emptiness from the loss of adrenaline and the ache in his used muscles. But he pushed unnecessary thoughts aside, as learned from his training, and focused on his men. 

" _Ollie has a sprained wrist, but other than that they'll live."_ Freddie answers with a shrug. " _I heard back from Quinton, he's coming back today with orders."_ He adds as Steve walks out of the house and into the blazing sun, following behind him. 

" _Good, good."_ Steve comments, though there's no point trying to act optimistic, and Freddie sees right through him. 

" _I would stay if I could, Steve. And I know you would too, but this village isn't going to be safe unless we take down the head."_ Freddie says with a sympathic voice and warm voice, having said this a few times already. 

" _I know, I'm just..."_ Steve sighs, and stops. Freddie stops beside him but keeps his eyes ahead and his mouth shut. He knows to let Steve take his time to find the right words, or any at all. " _I'm tired, Freddie. 3 fucking years and we haven't even seen the guy in the flesh. We've killed dozens of soldiers, and lost own soldiers too. I'm tired of this mission. I'm tired of this."_ He says and waves his hands to gesture to the village. " _War, sorrow, death, it's drowning me, man."_ Steve finally admits, his voice baring on weak as he drops his eyes to the sand under his boots. 

" _I agree with you. If you ask me, I want back to naval intelligence. Chat up with Catherine and the others, way off into the sea."_ Freddie says, but catches Steve shaking his head. 

" _I don't want back with the Navy, Freddie. I want out."_ Steve mumbles. He hasn't told anyone this before, but it's been nagging in the back of his head for weeks now, and admitting it out loud only makes the want stronger. " _I want to go home, see my dad, my sister, my niece. I want to surf, to lay back on a chair on my lanai and to not have to worry about bombs and terrorists!"_ His voice grows in volume. 

" _Lieutenant Commander?"_ Steve turns to the voice, seeing one of the villagers standing behind them with his hands wrapped behind his back. He seems scared that he interrupted something. Steve looks at him. He doesn't look any older than Steve had been when he was shipped off with the Navy. " _Your men asked me to fetch you, he said one of your soldiers is back with news?"_ He mumbles a little hurriedly, but Steve calms him down with a smile.

" _Thank you."_ He says and begins walking towards where his team has set up camp for the day. " _Quinton!"_ He says with a big grin and envelops the shorter man in a bone-crushing hug. " _How was the trip?"_ He asks once he lets him go. 

" _Like a trip to the store."_ Quinton sasses back and lets a large duffel bag and a backpack fall to the ground. " _I brought gifts."_ he says as he bends down and opens the duffel bag. 

" _I'll give you 100 bucks if you take out a burger or some goddamn bacon."_ Maze calls out from his seat to Steve's right. 

" _Sorry fellas."_ Quinton smirks as he pulls out a big plastic bag filled with what seems like letters and packages. " _The boss wanted to give you a little present. You guys ever heard of "Adopt a soldier"?_ He asks.

" _You mean the_ _organization where families can volunteer to send packages and letters to US soldiers?"_ Steve asks curiously. He remembers having signed up before he got the mission, but it was mostly for a joke. He had heard of other SEALs getting snacks and other american food to help them a little on their missions, and others getting heartwarming letters from children. He thought it would be a nice little surprise if he got a supporter. But after 3 years he had compeltely forgot about it. 

" _Yeah, apparently a few of us has signed up and for some reason none of the packages that were sent earlier came through, but the boss got this and wanted us to at least have a little good news before I told you the rest."_ Quinton says and shrugs as he begins handing out the letters. " _Here, boss."_ He says and hands Steve a bundle of letters tied with a string, as well as a box.

He shakes the box carefully, but there's no sound coming from it. He moves to sit on one of the chairs and rips it open. Some snacks and something fluffy drops into his lap. He puts the empty box down and first picks up the fluffy object. It's a plushie, in the shape of a little dog. It's cute, and Steve can't help but smile a little as he thinks about the little child that put the toy in in hope of him liking it. He puts the snacks away for later and checks on the letters. They're assigned to his name and when he opens one of them he sees different dates, meaning his supporter has either gotten back the letters that didn't make it, or he wrote several times. He can see from some of them that it's both an adult and a child writing, from the difference in handwriting. He looks at the ones from the child first. From the dates written in the top, it seemed these were from three years ago.

 

  _Hi Steve :D_

_My name is Grace Williams. I am 10 years old and I live in New Jersey with my Danno, my mommy and my stepStan._

_Danno told me you were fighting in a country far away and that if I sent you letters then I would make your day happier, so I hope you get this._

_I don't really know what to write..._

_My Danno is a cop, which is like a soldier, right? He beats up bad guys and keeps us safe so that's like what you do._

_You must miss your family, since you're so far away. I get homesick when I'm away from home, but I usually bring my plushie, his name is Dee, for my dad. And since Dee usually helps me when I'm homesick, I thought he would help you too so Danno let me put it in the box. Please take care of him and give him cuddles when you feel bad!_

_I hope you can go back home when you're done, and maybe you can come to New Jersey and tell me about your adventures! Danno says you're a seal, but I don't understand what it means. But I bet you can swim well if you're a seal :D_

_I also snuck in some snacks in the box, but don't tell Danno._

_Bye Steve_

_From Grace_

 

Steve felt his cheeks hurt. It's been so long to just see a glimpse of of his home, even if it's just a letter from a little girl he's never met. But her words mean a lot to him, and he subconciously holds tighter on the plushie as he puts the letter down and opens one from the adult. The first thing he notices is sentences scratched out on the paper, as if the person wasn't sure what he wanted to write. 

 

_To Steve McGarrett_

_Hi, my name is Danny_

_My partner showed me the organization and I thought it would be fun for me and my daughter to sign up._

_I don't really understand how this works, and I don't really know that much about you other than that you're a SEAL and your name. So I guess I'll just tell a little about myself._

_I'm a cop at the NJPD, been there since I graduated. Can't really say there's anything else I wanted to do with my life, and my job is probably one of the most important things for me._

_The most important though would be my daughter, Grace, who was very excited to write letters to you even if she didn't really understand the why and the who and the how. She's an amazing kid though, ~~and to be honest to only good thing that came out of my marriage.~~_ ~~~~_and I bet you that she is going to learn all she can about the Navy now that she's heard about it. But damn if she's ever gonna sign up, no offense._

_I mean, it's amazing what you do, giving your life to your country and training for so many years to be sent off into the world into war. I can't really say I would be able to do the same. It's not that I wouldn't do it for our country, more that I don't think I could leave my daughter._

_Sorry, I don't know if you have any children in the US. I'm very sorry if you do, and I can only imagine how much you have to miss them now, and your family. Sorry if this made it worse. ~~Wow, I'm crap at this.~~_

_Anyways, I guess this is going ot be a thing, so I hope you're not annoyed but we'll probably bombard you with letters in the future. And don't think I didn't notice my daughter sneaking snacks into the box, cause I did._

_Either way, I hope you're doing well and that our letters bring some sort of happiness to your day, and if not then you're just going to have to live with it._

_From Danny._

 

Steve snorts. This guy seems like a sarcastic type, and it's fun to read it as if it's his thoughts on the paper. He glances at the bunch of letters, feeling a sort of glee that it's not just one or two, but it seems there's several dozens of letters. He looks back at the plushie in his hands, and tries to hide the smile as this warm feeling blossoms in his chest. And if he sits there for several long minutes just staring at the dog in his lap, then he's glad none of his teammates mentions it.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course Quinton didn't just bring the packages from the "Adopt a soldier" organization. So the next day, Steve and his team is heading away from the village that's been their safezone for weeks, heading into the forests and fields of uncharted territory and towards enemy borders. The trip is tiresome and the team in tip-toeing, switching on being on guard-duty when they camp and always checking perimeter. Steve feels like they've been walking for years.

The only thing keeping his spirits up is the letters. 

He reads one every night, switching between the ones from Grace and the ones from Danny. He finds out Grace wants to be a marine biologist, and she tells him all about his parents and their house and her school days. Danny talks about his work and his partner, sometimes bitching about his ex-wife if she's done something annoying, judging StepStan for everything he does, and really just being snarky. 

Since the letters span over a few weeks between, it doesn't take Steve many days before he reaches a letter that's different. Danny tells him in the letter that Stan has gotten a new job, and that his ex-wife, Rachel, has agreed to move to Hawaii, and they're bringing Grace with them. Steve can just imagine that Danny cried while writing that letter, from the smudged words on some parts. In the next one, Danny tells him about him moving to Hawaii to follow his daughter, and about getting a job at the HPD. Grace talks about the move as well, though she's excited to be in a new school and that she loves the beach and the warmth of Hawaii. Danny on the other hand seems to hate Hawaii, and Steve feels like laughing because he's from there and he thinks it's ridiculous that Danny hates the beach and everything about Hawaii, which he calls a "pineapple infested hellhole". 

 

* * *

 

 

They meet enemy troops the second week of the move, and Steve manages to get out without any serious injuries. They take down the soldiers and grab their gear before retracking their footsteps in hopes of them taking the team back to the main base. 

Danny tells him about being a  _haole_ in the HPD and how most of the officers look at him like he's a joke. Though he does mention a few, like his partner Meka, who opens their arms for him. And when he mentions Chin Ho Kelly, Steve's memory piques. He remembers the other having gone to his high school a few years above Steve, and that he had also played football, though Steve had crushed all of his records. 

But it takes a turn when a few letters later Danny tells him about Chin losing his badge after IA accused him of taking bribes from perps and a whole shitstorm of other problems. It resolved in the new Governor, Jameson, to make a new task-force to handle dangerous terrorists and risks to the islands. And Danny, Chin, Chin's cousin Kono and a woman named Lori Weston had been recruited. So suddenly Danny didn't work at the HPD anymore, and it seemed his days became more and more eratic. 

He tells Steve about some of his missions, sharing about his new team, and of course talking about Grace. He also slips in how it's been going a little badly between Rachel and Stan. And Steve can see the red flag waving obviously infront of his eyes. So it doesn't come as a shock when he later reads that Danny had attempted to reconnect with his ex-wife, and that they had tried to make it work, but it didn't. Steve felt bad for him, and wished he could have been there to warn him in the first place. But then he remembers this is still 3 years ago. 

Steve's team takes out another group of soldiers the next week, and he has a feeling they're getting closer now. It's tingling under his skin, as if his cells are telling him where to go. His body is telling him to do the mission, get it over with so he can go home. Home, Hawaii, to his father and his sister, and to Danny.

It seems over the weeks of having read Danny's letters, and Grace's, Steve feels a sort of connection with the man. He knows almost everything about him, but Danny knows nothing about him. But Steve doesn't care, cause he wants to tell Danny everything about him in person. He wants to meet him, now that he knows danny is so close. When Steve's mission is over there's nothin stopping him from going home to look for him. To look for Grace. Grace, with her innocent humor and her brilliant way to see the world. Danny had been right about her, and she had read up on the Navy and SEALs after the first letter, as she began writing paragraphs as long as chapters in a novel about facts that he already knew. But he loved that she was so interested. And she asked him questions, even if she knew he couldn't answer her. And she was just so sweet and so pure, and Steve fell for her the first week. He wanted to meet her so bad, to thank her for Dee who's been such a help, and for her words that have helped him through everyday.

" _Steve?"_ Steve's head turns to meet Freddie, who looks a little amused, as if he's been trying to get his attention for a while. Steve puts away the last letter he had been reading that was from Grace, and turns to his second in command. 

" _Yeah?"_ He says, straightening up a bit to help him push away the thoughts of a certain detective from New Jersey. 

" _We found him."_ Freddie says, and Steve knows exactly what he means by those three words. Finally they found the leader. They've found the target. Now all that stands between Steve and his return home is one last fight. 

He's going to see those crystal blue waves again, and his sister white flowing hair, and the crinkles in his father's eyes. 

And Danny.

Steve wonders what color Danny's eyes are.

 

 


	2. 5 seconds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's team takes on the guerilla troops, but Steve has a feeling there's something else going on.

The magazine clicks into place and he checks his gun one last time before giving signal for the others to get ready to leave. The camp is packed up and the last bits of sunlight are disappearing behind the now dark and thin tree branches. The air seems immidiately colder as night looms over them, their footsteps quiet even with all their equipment, and Steve can only hear the blood rushing in his ears as he moves forward. He's in the lead, hearing his team's footsteps behind him. Their movements are calibrated and fast, wanting to reach the base quickly and hopefully with as little trouble as possible. 

His adrenaline is spiking up, and he can feel it in his veins, the rush and high filling him as he lets it drown out the worry and fear for his teammates and his own safety. He can feel Dee pushing against his bag, having been clipped to the back of his bag so he knows the dog is there. It's a sort of calming presence, though he has to focus on not spacing out and thinking of the previous owner of the plushie. It takes effort, but once Steve begins seeing quick glimpses of light in the distance, the thoughts of Grace is gone and the Soldier in him steps forward. 

With quick signals to his team, they split up in their assigned formation as they scope out the base and decide on the best advantage plan. Steve waits in the back as he assesses the situation. The base is big, but considering their team has already taken out 2 troops, there's not that many soldiers there. They still outnumber them, but considering their lack of training that Steve has witnessed, he thinks they have a fair shot. 

He sees Clint and Maze appear in the bushes. Their signals lets him know they're in position. Steve signals back when to begin, and gets ready. Taking a few deep breaths, he moves forward until he's at the edge of the clearing, targeting and executing a plan of attack in his head before meeting the eyes of Freddie to his right. 2 seconds of silence, before Steve gives the signal and suddenly the night is filled with gunshot from every angle. The guerilla soldiers leaps out of the gunfire towards their weapons, though some of them don't make it. Steve shouts orders as their formations change, taking cover as they start taking bullets back. He can hear them flying past his head and into the trunks of the trees behind him. Taking cover he shoots 3 other soldiers before he finds a clear path to move forward. He jumps quickly into the base, taking out the soldiers he sees. Freddie is right behind him, having his back like always. One soldier jumps out from behind a crate, but Steve manages to hit him in the neck with the back of his gun and knocks him out before swinging it back up and shooting the other that heads towards him. 

The air is thick with smoke and shouts and bullets. Steve tries to keep track of his team as he advances, and sees Quinton and Hop in close-combat with 3 soldiers. One of the guerillas falls to the ground, and Steve finds the glint of Ollie's rifle in the distance. He moves ahead, checking the tents and taking out the opponents. One of them manages to catch him off guard, and he feels the bullet tear through the flesh near his lower ribs, but it's just a graze and he keeps going, shooting the attacker right in the throat. His nostrils are flaring and his hands clench around his gun as the minutes pass but there's still no sign of the leader. He can hear several footsteps behind him and takes a quick turn to see Maze behind him, followed by Quinton. 

" _Steve."_ Freddie tilts his head towards a retreating shadow ahead. Steve takes his pose and looks into the aim of his gun, counting down to calm his breath as he stills, the last screams of guerillas being the only sounds in the air as he pulls the trigger. The bullet hits, and Steve hears a cut off shout and runs towards it. 

" _Hop took a hit."_ Quinton says as they run. " _One to the shoulder. Ollie is taking care of it."_ He adds, and Steve nods. Hop is one of his eldest on the team, having been with the Navy for too many years. But he's tough, and a bullet to the shoulder is just one of many wounds he's lived through so Steve doesn't worry. 

" _Drop it."_ Steve growls as he sees the leader grab the gun he had lost when shot. His gun is pointed at the man's skull, and he presses his boot into wound on his left thigh to make his statement clear. " _I said....drop it."_ He repeats. The man groans in pain and drops the gun, Steve kicking it further away as Freddie and Maze lift him up. " _Yeah that's him alright."_ Steve says as he looks at the man's face. But the man simply spits to the ground before howling in laughter. It makes the team still in confusion. 

" _What the hell are you laughing about?!"_ Freddie roars as he slams the man into the tree beside them. " _After what you've done you should be glad we're gonna execute you and not justify your actions with the same mercy you gave your victims."_ He hisses.

" _Freddie."_ Steve warns him and pulls him back. The guerilla leader drops to the ground, still chuckling softly. Steve has a bad feeling about this and looks around the base. From what they heard there should have been more soldiers, even with the troops the team has taken down. Something isn't right, but what?

" _McGarrett."_ The leader spits, looking up at Steve as he speaks with a heavy accent. " _Nice to finally meet you."_

" _How the fuck do you know my name?"_ Steve asks with a frown. 

" _He pay me good, for you to come here. I did not know you would come so soon."_ He says with a sneer. " _I underestimated you."_

" _Who payed you?"_ Steve asks, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck rise. If someone payed him to lure Steve and his team out here, it can't be good. It means none of this was just normal guerillas. They were after him. " _Who?!"_ He asks and takes a step closer. 

" _You will pay too. Pay good."_ He says.

" _What the hell is he talking about?"_ Quinton asks, looking at Steve with worry in his eyes. 

Steve keeps his eyes on the leader, trying to piece things together. Who the hell would lure him out to this place? What would they gain?

Before he could answer any of his questions, a red dot appeared on the guerilla leader's chest. " _It's an ambush, get down!"_ Steve says and pushes Freddie away as he jumps down. Bullets fly over them and right into the leader's chest. Steve grabs for his gun, but he has no idea where the bullets came from. Trying to look, he finds shadows approaching, and aims. He fires, seeing the team do the same in his side eye. He glances at the leader, but he is long gone. Then his eyes move further to where he had pushed Freddie, but the other is hidden in the tall grass. " _Freddie?"_ Steve calls out, trying to move closer while still holding the unknown attackers back. " _Freddie?!"_ He shouts as he sees his teammate lying on the ground. " _Man down!"_ He calls to the rest of the team. Reaching for his neck, Steve checks for a pulse while his own heart is stuck in his throat. He sighs in relief as he feels a faint pulse, but the stickiness coming from under Freddie's shirt worries him. Trusting his team to cover him, he rips open Freddiee's vest to check where the wound is, hissing when he finds it right at the bottom, near his left hip. The blood is oozing and if Steve can't stop the bleeding now, Freddie will bleed out. He looks up, finding Ollie and Hop also heard the new round of gunfire and is taking down the attackers from behind. He tries to spot how many of them there are, and finds it's still over a dozen left. His eyes settle on two that are close together, carrying a case between them as they are covered by 4 others. Suspicion rises in him as he whacks his brain for worst case scenarios. It's just when the last of the soldiers around them falls down that the 2 carrying the case drops it and reaches for their guns. They're out in a few moments but Steve has no time to relax. 

" _Bomb!"_ He knows it's the only reasonable possibility, and pulls Freddie up by one arm and groans as he throws him over his shoulder to get out of the bomb's range. The team has heard his shout and are also getting out, but Maze appears beside him and helps with Freddie's weight. 

It feels like minutes, but it only takes 5 seconds before Steve feels his eardrums shatter and fire licking up his back as he's thrown into the air. Everything goes black.


	3. Settling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve goes home with a heavy heart, only to recieve worse news that are too much to bare.

Waking up in a hospital is not uncommon for Steve. Though waking up on his stomach is new. The first thing he notices though is the hissing pain all over his body, sharp like ice and makes his head throb. He groans, scrunching up his face in a grimace as he tries to move, only to cry out in pain when it feels like the skin on his back starts to rip open with his movements.

Immidiately there's voices coming towards him, and he groggily opens his eyes through the pain. It takes him a while to focus on the nurse that's talking a mile a minute, before he understands she's trying to make him lie still. He freezes and takes a few breaths through his gritted teeth. The nurse rushes back and forth between monitors and the hallway, and Steve feels dizzy just following her with his eyes. He closes them when the pain starts to ebb out, only to be woken up by a man standing beside his bed. Steve can see he's a doctor, and tries to open his mouth and speak but it ends in a cough that only makes the pain come back. He whimpers, and the man infront of him turns to the table and brings him a glass of water. It's difficult to drink when he's laying down, but the man helps him lean his head up to at least take a few gulps before moving back. 

" _Lieutenant Commander, my name is Dr. Gordon. You may seem disoriented and confused, but I will cut to the chase for your own good. You are in Kathmandu in Nepal. You've been unconcious for 3 days after a serious explosion. You suffered serious burns along your back as well as injuries to your head and hands, though the burns on your back are the worst part. You have several minor breaks, but they have been set and will heal fine with time. Now, can you tell me the last you remember?"_  The doctor asks. It takes a while for the words to register completely in Steve's head. But when he mentions the explosion, Steve remembers that night, and a fear builds in him. 

" _My team?"_  He asks, his voice rough and gravelly.

" _Your team brought you here, as well as a Freddie Hart."_ The doctor says and Steve tenses. The doctor's brows furrow. " _I am sorry to be the one to tell you but Mr. Hart passed away from his injuries when he arrived."_ He says gently. 

He can feel his throat close up as he bites his tongue to keep from screaming. Memories of finding Freddie on the ground, trying to carry him over his shoulder, the blood oozing from his abdomen. He doesn't notice the doctor leaving him alone, and he has no idea for how long he lays there silently screaming both in physical and mental pain. 

 

* * *

 

 

The next time he wakes up he feels a little more lucid, and is relieved to see a familiar face. " _Maze."_ He breathes out a sigh, giving his teammate and close friend a weak smile.

" _You look like shit, I've got to be honest, McGarrett."_ Maze says with a sad smile. 

" _Thanks. How are you?"_ He asks, remembering Maze helping him with Freddie before the explosion, his eyes rake over his friend's body but he finds no signs of injuries.

" _Yeah, except for some minor bruising and a broken rib I'm fine. You got most of it."_ He says and crosses his arms over his chest. A silence falls over the room, but they both know what they're thinking about. " _Joe managed to get us here."_ Maze admits after a while, and that gets Steve's attention.

" _Joe White?"_ He asks.

" _Yeah, who else?"_ Maze comments and rolls his eyes. " _He talked to the boss and you're going home after this. The doctor told us it's going to take a good while before you get most of your burns healed and so you have full mobility of your shoulders."_ Steve notices Maze staring at his back, where Steve can feel there's a thick layer of gauze over. 

" _Home."_ Steve mumbles. That's what he wanted, right? But not like this. Not without knowing Freddie would go back home too. " _Yeah..."_ He says, pushing those emotions away. He can't break down now. 

As he thinks about home, he remembers Grace, Danny and Dee. " _Did you get my stuff out too?"_ Steve asks with a frown. " _I know it's not really important in an explosion...It's just that..."_ Steve's words die off. He doesn't know how to say it, but he's dying to know if the goddamn plushie got out. But he has no idea how to say it or how to say what it means to him to have it back. 

" _You mean this?"_ Maze says with a knowing smirk and pulls out something from a bag, putting it on the nightstand by Steve's face.

The dog is a little burned, but other than a few dirty spots in it's fur, it's okay. He lets out another relieved sigh and smiles. " _Thanks."_ He says, both for bringing it, and for not teasing him or questioning him about it. 

" _No worries man. But just focus on getting better, okay? I'll come back later with the team, we wanna say goodbye before you fly home."_ Maze says and gently places a hand on Steve's neck, careful to avoid the gauze, before leaving.

Steve falls asleep looking at the toy dog.

 

* * *

 

 

Healing takes forever, and after 2 weeks, Steve is sick and tired of it. His burns has to be tended with everyday, and it hurts until he feels like throwing up. The hospital drowns him in pain medication and sleeping pills just to get him through the night, with both pain from the injuries and serious night terrors. It doesn't take long before his doctor starts mentioning getting psychological help when he's back on Oahu, and Steve is considering it. 

4 weeks into his healing, and the team visits him again. It's still another 3 weeks until the doctor can even consider sending him home, but Steve is happy for the company. But when his team enters his room, he sees their broken faces, and the sorrow and the happiness disappears.

" _What's wrong?"_ Steve asks. He would have guessed it was Freddie, but the funeral has already happened, and his team looks as if they just saw Freddie die yesterday. 

" _Steve."_ Quinton sits down on a chair next to the bed, looking as if he wants to run away. " _Gov-Governor Jameson called."_ He says, and the room falls silent. 

" _And?"_ Steve asks, feeling the fear build up from the looks he's given. 

" _Your father..."_ Quinton looks like he wants to cut his tongue out. " _He was murdered."_ Silence falls over the room, as his team looks away to wait for a response. 

The beeping from the monitor is loud in his ears, picking up speed, and it begins to feel like the pain from his back is traveling through his body, down his legs and up into his head. It constricts his lungs and presses against his brain, it curls his stomach until he wants to puke, and it tenses every muscles until Steve thinks they will explode. It takes him a while to realise he's having a panic attack, and that his team has been rushed out as doctors run in. He hears screaming, loud screaming close by, and then he notices it's him. His throat is begging for him to stop as he cries out, trashing in the bed and pulling at the hands on his shoulders. 

The world seem to spin and go out of focus, before he feels the energy leave him, his screaming dying out into weak sobs as he sees the nurse pull the syringe out of his IV drip and the world goes black again.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve feels numb for the first time in so many years. Last time was when he was a young boy, and a police officer had arrived at their door to tell him his mother had died in a car accident. Steve had zoned out for months, and he doesn't have much memories from that time. There are no pictures, and his sister never wants to tell him what happened. 

Now, Steve feels it again, that darkness that seems to devour every emotion. He couldn't even feel angry or sad after he was told what happened. He simply layed in the hospital bed for another week. When his team had come back to tell him the Governor had ordered for him to be flown specially for his father's funeral, he had simply nodded and then gone back to sleep. He had slept through the flight, and had sat in a wheelchair through the funeral, nurses making sure his back never touched the backrest and he had been so medicated he couldn't remember if he managed to cry. He almost had no recollection of meeting his sister again, only a faint image of her heartbroken face at the airport. 

The day after the funeral, Steve is once again lying on a hospital bed, staring at nothing at all. The joy of being home is nowhere in sight, and the days are beginning to blend together as he sleeps through most of the hours. His sister visits a lot, and even if it's been years since they met last time, she understands how he feels and spends most of the time simply sitting in a chair and looking out the window with him. And she sleeps when he falls asleep. It's not a lot, but Steve knows that he's grateful, even if he can't seem to express it.

He's starting to walk again a few days later. Just small steps, to the bathroom or out in the hallway. Mary is there all the time, silent, but supportive. She knows exactly that trying to encourage him or tell him to be optimistic won't help. So she just holds out her hand when she sees him stumble, and looks away when she sees him beginning to break down. 

She never spends the night, mostly because he won't let her. His night terrors are to severe for her to be in the room. He may be numb, but he won't put her through seeing the psychological aftermath his missions have left on him. She fixes him schedules with a therapist without questions, but Steve does notice the slight hurt look on her face when he sends her away each night.

It's now a week since he's come home. And even if he's home, he hasn't seen the blue waves or his old hosue or the lanai or the beautiful view of Hawaii. He's seen the graveyard where his father is buried, and he's seen his hospital room. 

Today, he at least managed to walk to the hallway and all the way to the corner and back before the burns begin to act up. Mary tries to hide her proud smile, and Steve acts like he doesn't notice it. 

" _Steve?"_ Mary says as she puts her phone down. " _Can I ask you something?"_ It's the longest sentence she said to him since he came home. He turns his head and looks at her. She takes his attention as an answer. " _There's someone who wants to meet you. I know you said no visitors but I think this will help a lot."_ She says and stands up, looking for something in her purse as she stops beside him. She pulls it out and holds it infront of him. 

" _Dee."_ Steve whispers, unable to keep the wrecked sound out of his voice. The dog still looks dirty and a little burned, but it still brings joy to him as every other time he's seen it. This time it's just a slight wave, but it's enough to make him open his eyes wider and look up at his sister. She must see something in his face because she finally smiles. She places it on the table beside him. 

" _They're here."_ She says softly, crouching down so Steve doesn't have to twist his neck to look at her. " _They talked to everyone to track you down when they found out what happened, and even called the Governor."_ She says. Steve doesn't know how she knows this, but the information is still being processed, and he just stares at her. " _Do you want to see them?"_ She asks, her voice just a whisper now.

Steve feels his heart beating faster, and is proved correct when the monitor begins to beep quicker. Mary notices too, but tries to ignore it, still staring at him and waiting patiently for an answer. 

_Danny._

_Grace._

They're here.

He can meet them.

He can see them. 

They want to see him.

They sent him letters for almost 2 years, and got no response or had any idea if he even read them. And they want to meet him. 

For the first time since the panic attack, Steve feels a wetness on his cheeks. Mary's eyes soften as she slowly reaches out and dries the tears. 

Steve nods after she's dried his cheeks, and Mary's smile grows. " _Thank you."_ She whispers, stroking her thumb gently over his cheekbone once before standing up. Steve's monitor is still beeping quickly, and Steve tries to breathe, wondering if he'll be able to when they step into the room. 

Mary disappears, and Steve has a moment to think about things. Ever since Maze brought the dog, Steve hasn't really though about Danny or Grace, having had too much on his mind to even think if they knew he was going home, and if he was on the island after the funeral. Steve doesn't know how to react to the knowledge, and ends up reaching for the plushie and pulling it close to his chest. It seems as if time freezes until the door opens again. Mary doesn't come through, though he sees her white curls in the doorway. 

Instead, a young girl walks in. Hands clasped together infront of her, and unsure eyes looking behind her with every step. 

She's beautiful.

Long dark brown hair and tanned skin, a blue school uniform and a pink backpack. A butterfly clip in her hair, framing her face and her dark brown eyes. Her hands are clasped together nervously, and suddenly Steve seems to find his ability to breathe.

But that's when a man steps in. 

And Steve feels as if a truck hit him. 

The man is gorgeous. The first thing Steve notices is crystal blue. For a millisecond he thinks he's looking at the waves from his beach. But no, it's crystal blue eyes staring at him. The man is definitely shorter than Steve, though he makes up for it with broad shoulders and defined muscles in arms and chest. He's wearing a tight shirt, with a few buttons open, and his hands hidden in the pockets of his slacks. His hair is golden, slicked back with products, and his skin has a light tan.

It takes a moment for Steve to be able to think again, and that's when the image of the man is brought together with 2 years worth of letters, and Steve is finally seeing the whole picture, and he can't help but feel himself fall so quickly he's afraid he'll reach the bottom before he can introduce himself. 

It's Grace that speaks first. The two stop infront of his bed, and Steve is able to glance between both of them with a look of awe and amazement. 

" _Hey Steve."_ Grace says, breaking the silence. And it's like a rush of cold water. They're actually here. Right in front of him. Standing here. 

" _H-Hi."_ Steve says back, his voice almost a whimper. After having finally felt emotions since coming to Hawaii, he can feel the gate is open and he's close to a breaking point. 

" _I'm Grace, and this is Danno."_ She says and points to Danny, who glances at her with a little smile. When Steve doesn't say anything else, she seems to turn hesitant. " _Do you...Do you know who we are?"_ She asks.

Steve feels like his voice is going to betray him if he speaks, so instead he pulls out the dog that's been crushed under his weight when he cuddled it to his chest, and holds it out for her. It takes her two seconds before her eyes widen and she grabs it. " _Dee!!"_ She says with delight, a wide grin on her face. " _You kept him!"_ She says, sounding so happy that it makes Steve bashful. " _After all this time, Danno, look!"_ She says and shows the dog to Danny. Steve then remembers that Grace sent that 3 years ago. They've been corresponding with him for 3 years and he's only known about them for a few months.

" _I..."_ He has to swallow over the lump in his throat. He's grateful that Grace turns back to him and waits. Big eyes stare at him curiously, a hidden joy behind them as she squeezes the dog to her chest. " _I-I got your letters."_ He starts, and Grace nods her head quickly with a big grin, looking proud. " _About two months ago."_ He adds, and sees the confusion on her face. 

" _What?"_ Is the first words Steve hears from the man behind Grace, and the voice startles him. He looks up, seeing the same confusion on his face as his daughter. 

" _It seems like....they couldn't reach us, we were on a new mission and had no contact. So they kept them, and then about two-two months ago we got them."_ Steve explains.

" _What the..."_ Danny looks like he wants to curse, but one quick look from Grace and he shuts his mouth. 

" _It's okay, I'm just glad you got to read them."_ Grace says when she turns back to him. Steve smiles at her, but turns to cough as his throat argues about being used more than regularly. 

" _Here."_ Danny says and grabs one of the glasses on the table and filling it with water. " _Uhm..."_ He seems to stop as he looks at Steve lying on his stomach. Steve gets the message and slowly pushes up on his arms. The stretch in his wounds makes him hiss, but he bites it down until he's sitting up. When he meets Danny's eyes again there's something in his look, something Steve doesn't understand. But it's gone when he gives him the glass. 

" _How are you feeling?"_ Grace asks, putting Dee down on the bed and moving closer. 

" _I'm fine."_ He says with a little smile. Grace seems to buy it, but one look towards Danny lets Steve know he's not believing his lies. 

" _Hey Monkey?"_ Danny asks and Grace leans her head back to look up at him. " _Can you go get me a bottle of water from the machine out in the hallway?"_ He asks as he pets her head. Grace nods and eagerly takes the money he gives her. " _And don't buy too many candy bars!"_ He throws after her as she bounces out the door. When it shuts a silence falls over them again. Steve is now openly staring, having zoned out when he saw the fond look on the man's face. Danny turns back to him and gives him an apologetic smile. It brings him out of his thoughts. " _I'm really sorry."_ Danny says, and Steve furrows his brows.

" _Sorry about what?"_ He has no idea why the man would be sorry, this is the closest thing Steve has been to happy in weeks.

" _I heard about what happened to...your father and your teammate, and the..."_ He gestures to Steve's back with a hiss. " _And this is probably not the right time to visit you, if any. My daughter just really wanted to meet you when she found out you were here. If you want us to leave I'll-"_ Steve's hands reach up out of instinct but the quick movement makes pain ripple up through his back and he yelps. Danny takes a step forward, but doesn't reach out, looking a little lost, as if he doesn't know what to do. 

" _No, don't leave."_ Steve manages to say between the pained breaths. And the confused look is back on Danny's face. It's cute, his brows are furrowed and his lips are pursed together in a pout. " _You have no idea, how much you've helped me."_ Steve admits, and Danny's brows now shoot up in surprise. " _I read most of your letters, every night, and it made me feel like I was home. Not thrown into a war that's not mine, put in danger every second of the day. And this?"_ Steve says and picks up the plushie with a smile. " _This helped a lot too."_ He says softly, stroking the dog's floppy ears. One of them was slightly burned and Steve picks at the burned parts. 

" _Really?"_ Danny asks back just as softly. 

" _Yeah."_ Steve breathes out as he looks back up, feeling the breath getting caught in his throat. Even under the bad fluorescent lights in the hospital room, Danny just seems so unreal in his beauty. Steve might be biased, but the man looks perfect to him. Even with all the flaws he's read through his letters, his failed marriage, his temper, his stubborness. 

" _Here you go."_ Grace interupts as she jumps back into the room. Danny whips around, and Steve blinks a few times before looking towards her. 

" _Thanks, baby."_ Danny says and takes the bottle, opening it up and taking a big gulp. Steve doesn't even try to not stare at his neck as he swallows. Hey, he's been in the Navy for most of his life, he hasn't really lived that much. And this man looks edible. From his pouty lips, to that delicious neck, down his pecs and Steve has to clear his throat when he looks at his ass. 

God those pants are tight. That can't be up to protocol. 

 " _I got you this."_ Grace says and hands Steve a chocolate bar. 

" _Thank you, Gracie."_ Steve says with a smile, but his eyes flick quickly to Danny, worrying if he's overstepping boundaries with nicknames. They don't really know eachother and he doesn't know how far the line goes to what is okay. 

" _You're welcome."_ Grace sing-songs and moves over to sit on the bed. She does so carefully though and makes sure she's not on his legs. 

" _How is school? I guess you've been going there for a while now."_ Steve asks after a few seconds go by. 

" _It's nice. It's still new I guess. I learn something everyday that's different from back in New Jersey."_ Grace says with a little shrug. 

" _Have you learned to surf? I read that you wanted to do that."_ Steve says and smiles when he sees the annoyed look on Danny's face.

" _No, Danno won't let me. He says it's dangerous."_ Grace says with a sigh.

" _What? No, it's not dangerous. It's not any more dangerous than driving in a car or flying a plane, and he lets you do that, right?"_ Steve says, feeling a little mischevious when he sees Danny glare. He's not angry, Steve can tell, cause there's playfulness in his eyes. 

" _Don't listen to him, he's got salt water in his ears. You're not learning to surf until you've moved out and got a job."_ Danny says and crosses his arms over his chest. 

" _Hey."_ Steve says and pokes Grace's arm to get her to turn back to him. " _How about when I get out of here, I'll teach you, huh? We won't tell your dad."_ Steve whispers with a grin. 

" _I'm standing right here."_ Danny says but can't help but chuckle. Grace looks extremely hapy and nods so quickly her hair falls in her face. 

" _Okay it's a deal."_ Steve says as he reaches up and pushes the few strands back behind her ear, still glancing nervously to Danny to make sure it's okay. But Danny just smiles. 

" _Mr. Williams?"_ Danny turns to the nurse standing in the door. " _I'm sorry but we have to attend his wounds, you are welcome to come back later if you would like."_ She explains.

" _It's okay."_ Danny says and grabs Grace's backpack that she had put beside the bed. " _Let's go home, Monkey."_ He says, but notices the sad looks on both his daughter and Steve, and sighs. " _We'll come back tomorrow, alright? You can bring him some of your artwork and a few of your books. I just have to call your mom."_ Danny says and shakes his head. 

" _Yey!"_ Grace says and forgets herself for a second as she bounces up to hug Steve. He manages to keep the shout of pain away, but his face scrunches up, and Danny looks ready to pull his daughter back. Steve puts his hand up to stop him, and puts the other on Grace's head. 

" _Thank you for the letters, Gracie. I really liked them. And Dee."_ Steve says. Grace leans back on the bed. " _Do you want him back now? He's a little dirty, so you'll have to wash him."_ Steve says as he picks up the dog with a laugh. 

" _It's okay, you can keep him a bit more. I'll come visit as much as I can."_ Grace says with a determinded face, and Steve knows she's speaking the truth. 

" _Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow."_ Steve says with a smile.


	4. Calm before a storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny allows Grace to visit Steve as much as she can while he's in the hospital. The two create a surprisingly strong bond.  
> Danny takes on Steve's father's case and brings in the task force.

" _Steve?"_ Steve opens his eyes, already a smile on his face as he recognizes the soft and gentle voice of his favorite 12 year old. He turns his head and pushes a little up on his elbows where he's laying on his stomach. Grace's head appears through the door before she sees he's awake and jumps in. " _Hey, did I wake you?"_ She asks as she bounces towards him. 

" _No, I've been awake for a while."_ Steve says, hoping she can't see the dark circles that's a result of him waking up in a sweat in the middle of the night for god knows how many days in a row. 

Grace has been visiting him almost everyday now for a week. From what he's heard, Danny spoke with Rachel and explained, and she allowed it as long as she doesn't stay too late and that she'll leave if Steve's condition worsens or if the doctor's say so. So she visits and talks about her day, shows him what she did at school and most of the time she brings her favorite books and reads for him. 

" _I read for Charlie when he's sick."_ She explained when she read for him the first time. 

Charlie, who Grace has told him, is her little brother. Now as far as Grace knows, Charlie is Stan's son. But after a talk with Danny after she had left for the bathroom a few days ago, Steve was told the truth. That Danny had indeed gotten together with Rachel the first time her and Stan's marriage started to break, and Rachel had gotten pregnant. She had first assumed it was Danny's, but when she realised she was further along then she thought she got back together with Stan because the child was his. Danny had seemed heartbroken when he told Steve, and Steve had been honored because it really wasn't his place to know. But when he told Danny that, the man just laughed. 

" _I've been telling you everything about my life for 3 years, I'm not really afraid to share. And you seem like a good listener."_ Danny explained with a sweet smile.

 

Now, a week after Steve met Grace and Danny, both Mary and the staff at the hospital has noticed Steve's change in behavior. He's walking more, trying to keep himself awake in the day even if he got no sleep, talking to Mary, not snapping at the nurses when they change his gauze. And he smiles. Only when he's with Danny and Grace, but it's still a smile. And it's honest. Not the fake ones he gives the doctors and the psychologist when he lies that he's okay. 

" _Our science teacher wanted us to dissect frogs today."_ Grace says as she drops her bag and climbs onto the bed. Steve makes room for her as she starts talking about her day. Steve hums and laughs at the right times, though for the most part he stays quiet. There's just something about Grace's voice, the sweet gentleness of it. It's not the same as when Mary talks to him. Don't get him wrong, he loves his sister to death and would do anything for her, but after their father, it's like Steve's world is flipped and things are just weird. 

What he does know though, is that whenever Grace talks to him, or reads for him, or plays with Dee, Steve gets this incredible warm and comfortable feeling in his chest, as if everything is right. And he's always known he wanted to be a father, but when he went into the Navy he realised that it might never happened because he never settled down. So he feels this immense sense of wanting to protect this girl, to keep her safe and to love her as much as he's capable of with his broken heart. 

" _Hey, Gracie, where's your dad?"_ Steve asks once Grace stops to take a breath. 

" _At work, he said he had a case."_ Grace says, flipping Dee's ears between her fingers. Danny had been with Grace most of the days when she visited, but after a while it seemed he trusted Steve enough to keep her safe and only came to visit for a few minutes before driving her home. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't a little bummed by that, but those five minutes a day when he got to see Danny's face was worth it more than nothing at all. So he greeted him with a smile and asked him about his day in hoping to prolong the visit, not wanting to see him go and be left alone with his self-destructive thoughts.

" _Okay, what book did you bring today?"_ He asks as he glances at her backpack. She turns and reaches for it, pulling out a book and showing him the cover before settling back, her hips against Steve's right shoulder. She explains a little about what the book is about before starting to read. The room falls into a comfortable rythm of the heartmonitor and Grace's voice, and it doesn't take long before Steve feels himself almost dozing off. It happens a lot, but he shakes his head a little and forces himself to stay awake. He's promised himself to not fall asleep infront of her, in fear of hurting her in his night terrors. 

Time passes by and Steve has no idea how far into the book she's gotten, but it has to be quite a lot from the sound of her voice. It's softer and tired. He gently squeezes her shoulder and reaches over her for a glass of water, closing the book with the other. She takes it and sips, wiggling a bit in her seat and moving closer to him, trying not to spill. When she's done she puts the glass back on the table and leans back again, reaching for one of his hands that's laying beside her. She starts absentmindly fiddling with his fingers, humming for herself, and it's all so wonderfully calm and familiar that it makes his heart ache. Steve's eyes are beginning to droop and he's desperately trying to keep himself awake. But Grace has other ideas in mind, and lays down beside him, still holding onto his hand. 

" _You seem tired. You should sleep."_ She whispers, looking at his eyes and squeezing his hand. " _Don't worry, I'll watch over you."_ She adds softly and Steve smiles. He turns onto his side, ignoring the protest in his left shoulder. Watching her measure the sizes of their hands together, he feels his body relax entirely. And Grace seems tired to, as she sighs in content and wiggles so her forehead is pressed into Steve's chest and Steve's hand is locked between her fingers and her collar bones, her chin resting on it. She must have been even more tired than him, as if only takes a little while before he hears soft puffs coming from her. He chuckles silently. She was gonna watch over him, huh? He grins, allowing the tiredness and the comfort lull him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

He must have only been sleeping for a few minutes, because he's easily woken up by voices in the room. Not recognizes any of them makes him tense up, and he protectively pulls Grace closer as he opens his eyes. 

3 people stand beside his bed, all with similar smiles of amusement on their faces. Only one seems familiar. 

" _Chin Ho?"_ Steve mumbles, voice rough from sleep and little use. The talking makes him move a little and jostles Grace, who wakes up. She turns a little in Steve's embrace and looks at the people.

" _Auntie Kono, why are you guys here?"_ She asks and tries to hide a yawn. The woman grins, but doesn't answer, and Grace doesn't mind as she quickly falls back asleep.

" _Steve McGarrett."_ The man named Chin says and whistles. " _It's definitely been a while."_ He adds with a chuckle. 

" _Uhm..."_ Steve feels very much confused, and it takes him a while to remember where he's heard Chin's name before. " _You're Danny's team, right?"_ He asks. 

" _I wouldn't say "Danny's" team but yeah."_ The other man says, a tall and dark skinned man with a cocky grin. " _Lou Grover."_ He adds, reaching his hand out. Steve untangles one of his from around Grace and shakes his hand. 

" _Nice to meet you. Are you here to pick up Grace?"_ He asks, still confused why they would be here. And why wasn't Danny with them? Is he hurt? Steve's eyes widen and he sits up quickly, careful not to jostle Grace too much, but hisses at the pain in his back. " _Is Danny okay?"_ He asks in worry.

" _Calm down, SuperSEAL, Danny's fine."_ The woman, Grace had called her Kono, says and puts both hands up to calm him down. " _And no we're not here for Gracie. We actually came to talk to you."_ She says, putting her hands back on her hips. 

" _Ooookay....?"_ Steve mumbles, glancing down at Grace. " _Hey sweetheart?"_ He says as he gently shakes her shoulder. Grace opens one eye and looks at him. " _I'm just gonna talk to them for a little while, but just stay here, okay? I'll be right outside."_ Steve says, while removing the equipment attached to him. The heartmonitor beeps obnoxiously for a little while, but Steve's learned how to turn it off, so when he gets out of the bed he quickly does so as not to disturb Grace. He follows the three others outside into the hallway and walks over to one of the chairs, sitting down slowly. His back is attacking him with sharp stabs of pain, but he hides it as he looks up expectantly. " _So...?"_ He says when none of them seem keen to begin explaining why they're here.

" _Well...see here's the thing, Danny decided he wanted to take on a new case."_ Grover says as he rubs his chin. " _It's your father's."_ He adds a little softer. 

Steve frowns, feeling the clench in his heart at the mention of his dad. The wound is still fresh, and just bringing it up makes him sick to his stomach. " _Why would he do that?"_ Steve asks, looking down at his hands. 

" _Danny said he wanted justice for your father's death."_ Chin says. " _He met him, you know?"_ He adds, and Steve looks up. No, he didn't know that. " _I mentioned having been your father's partner when I worked at HPD, and Danny had been surprised when he recognized your last name. And so the next time John came to visit me, since he still wanted to check up on me after losing my badge, he and Danny started talking. Sometimes about work, other times about their kids. John had been thrilled when Danny told him about the letters, and they bonded. So when your dad was murdered....Danny didn't take it that well."_ Chin explains. 

Danny had talked with his dad. Danny had been with him the last few weeks before his death. Somehow the thought of it didn't make Steve mad that Danny had sort of seeked out his father and talked to him about Steve. It made him happy that Danny had wanted to get to know him more, and had done that through his father. And this means Danny knows how his father had been before he was murdered. 

" _Okay. Where is Danny now?"_ Steve asks. He wants to talk to him. He wants him to tell him everything about how his father was like. He could have asked Mary, if it hadn't been that she hadn't been home the last few months because she had been working a job on the mainland, and only moved back after John died.

" _At the Iolani Palace, he doesn't know we're here."_ Kono says. 

" _Okay, but why are you here?"_ Steve asks. 

" _We wanted to meet you. Find out who's the guy our boss has been writing letters to for years. And also we wanted to ask you about your dad. If you noticed anything at the funeral and if we could speak with your sister as well."_ Kono explains. 

" _If I noticed anything?"_ Steve asks with a hollow chuckle. " _Sorry guys, but I don't think I'll be of much help. If you haven't noticed, I've just lost two very important people in my life and barely managed to keep mine, so my memory isn't really what it used to be. I bet if it wasn't for the angel in there..."_ He says as he looks over to the room where Grace is still asleep in the bed. " _I don't know where I would be..."_ He finishes with a sigh and looks back down. " _I'll talk to my sister and she can come by your office. But more than that I don't know what I can do."_ He mumbles. He hears someone sitting down beside him, and a hand is gently placed on his arm. 

" _We're so sorry for your loss, Steve. And I know we don't really know eachother, but I promise you we'll find out what happened."_ Kono says softly but firmly. Steve nods weakly with his head, barely keeping his emotions in check. All this talking about his loss just brings up images in his head, both real and from his nightmares, and it's messing with his head. 

" _What are you guys doing here?"_ Steve looks up at the familiar voice, his heart beating quickly when he sees Danny standing in the hallway.

" _Hey, Danny."_ Grover says with a grin, acting as if it's not weird that his team is at the hospital. Danny looks at all three with a suspicious look before landing on Steve, and then his brows furrow. 

" _Why are you out of bed?"_ He asks.

" _Uh..."_ Steve can't seem to find his words as Danny crosses his arms over his chest and frowns at him. If Steve hadn't known better he would feel like a child being scolded by his parents for being up after bedtime. 

" _We wanted to have a chat."_ Chin says nonchalantly.

" _You could have had it in the room. Steve, you're not supposed to get up without a nurse or a doctor being there."_ He says with a sigh. Steve ducks his head as a blush rises on his cheeks and up his neck, hoping the others won't notice it.

" _Grace was sleeping."_ He mumbles, glancing up to see Danny looking into the room and seeing his daughter. 

" _Right, but still, why are you three here?"_ Danny asks, now placing his hands on his hips as he turns to his team. 

" _We wanted to meet your penpal, is that so bad?"_ Grover says and smirks. 

" _And we were just about to head out, see you back at the Palace."_ Kono says as she stands up. " _Say bye to Grace for us."_ She adds before pulling her cousin with her as the three wave and leave. Steve looks over at Danny, seeing the suspicious look disappear until the frown is left, but it's more of a concerned frown now.

" _Are you okay?"_ Danny asks as he takes a step closer. 

" _I'm fine."_ Steve breathes out, rubbing his hands together slowly and bringing them up his arms until he's hugging himself. 

" _What did they say?"_ Danny asks as he takes Kono's place. 

" _Nothing. They just wanted to meet me."_ Steve says and shakes his head. He can feel Danny's eyes on him, which makes it even harder to form sentences in his head. God he's so far gone on this man he doesn't even know. " _They...They told me you knew my father."_ He manages to look up as he says it, and sees the sadness appearing on his face. Steve doesn't like that look. 

" _Yeah..."_ Danny whispers. " _I'm sorry, I was going to tell you, I swear."_ He adds, and rubs at the back of his neck. " _But it was never....I just felt it wouldn't help to bring it up."_ He stumbles a bit over his words, and leans back with a sigh. 

" _It would."_ Steve says with a small nod. " _It would hurt, but it would help too. You knew my father, you talked to him, spent time with him. Something I couldn't do before he died."_ Steve explains, turning his body a bit towards Danny. " _I can't ask Mary how he was, she can't handle it, and she doesn't think I can either. But I want to know."_ His hands are shaking, and his burns are starting to hurt as the pain meds begin to wear off, but he ignores it. 

" _Alright."_ Danny says but still looks hesitant. " _I'll tell you about him. But right now, I just want you to get some rest, okay? We can talk about him tomorrow, I promise."_ He says, but when Steve is about to argue he raises his hand to stop him. " _I know my team meant well when talking to you, but I can guess from the look on your face that bringing up your father makes you too upset right now so I don't want to push everything on you tonight. We have time to talk about him."_ Danny says with earnest eyes, and Steve sinks back in the seat. He's right. Just from talking about his father for a few minutes made his whole body feel numb and tired, as if all his energy was sucked up. He doesn't want to go back to the numb feeling. He wants that sweet and happy warmth that comes with the Williams family everytime he sees them. 

" _Fine. Can..."_ Steve looks away from the other's expressive eyes as he tries not to blush. " _Can you help me up?"_ He hates feeling vulnerable, and would rather just try to get up and fall, but he lets Danny help him. He doesn't know why, but he just feels he can trust the other not to think less of him for it. There's never pity in Danny's expression, like Steve has grown used to seeing. He saw it in his team when they told him the news. Saw it on the face of every person at his father's funeral. Sees it in the nurses faces everytime they see his scars. But never on Danny. Danny is just understanding.

Danny doesn't say anything and simply lends Steve a strong arm to lean on as they walk back into the room. Steve sits down carefully on the bed, making sure not to move Grace around too much. Both the adults' faces soften at the look of the little girl happily snoring into Steve's pillow. 

 " _Just let her stay for little longer, please?"_ Steve looks up with pleading eyes. He doesn't want them to go, wants that feeling to stay because he's afraid that when it disappears he'll have a panic attack or just fall back into nothingness again. The Williams family keeps him balanced. 

" _It's getting late."_ Danny says as he checks his phone, but after gnawing on his bottom lip for a few seconds he nods. " _Just a little while though."_ He adds as he grabs one of the chairs and moves it to the bed. 

They talk quietly about their day, Steve talking about the nurses having arguments and gossiping outside his door, and what book Grace has been reading to him, while Danny talks about his last case and work. It's simple, but it means everything to Steve. 

" _You seem tired."_ Steve whispers after Danny is done talking about chasing one of their recent suspects. Danny's eyes crinkle as he laughs softly. 

" _Yeah, buddy, but you don't really look much better though."_ Danny says before his smile falls a little. " _How are the nightmares?"_ He asks. Steve hasn't told him, his doctor did, after Danny had asked him how Steve was doing in recovery. Steve had hoped the doc would keep his night terrors out of it, cause the look on Danny's face was too much. Steve looks down at his hands resting in his lap. His nightmares have been worse since he came home. They lessened a bit when Grace and Danny showed up, his mind being too distracted to focus on the shitstorm that was his life. But now, it's building up again until Steve wakes up with an ear-piercing scream about 4 times everynight. The nurses have to be ready every day because his screams effect the other patients close by. 

" _They're still there."_ Is all Steve can say, clenching his hands into fists. 

" _Do you talk to the therapist about them?"_ Danny asks. 

He does, but he barely scratches the surface. It's not that the therapy isn't helping, or that the therapist isn't good, but Steve is resisting. Or so the therapist said at least. He doesn't know why. He nods slowly and hears Danny let out a sigh. 

" _Good."_ The Detective adds with a breath. " _Has the doctor talked about when you'll be released?"_ He switches the subject, and Steve is grateful as he manages to look up at him again. 

" _Yeah, some time next week. Mary is really happy about it. She's been cleaning the house and fixing my room ever since they told her about it."_ Steve says with a little smile. 

" _She's..."_ Danny's brows furrow. " _You'll be living in your old house?"_ He asks, and Steve nods. " _Are you sure...Are you okay with that? Is Mary?"_ Danny asks.

" _Well..."_ Steve rubs a hand through his stubble. " _I haven't really lived there since I was a teenager, and Mary moved out and hasn't lived there in a while. So we're thinking more about it as our childhood home, and the memories. Instead of..."_ Steve shudders. 

" _Okay."_ Danny nods, biting his lip again, and he really needs to stop doing that before Steve loses his mind. " _Okay as long as you're okay with it."_  

" _It's not like we have anywhere else to stay, Danny. Mary sold her old house when she came back."_ Steve adds with a shrug, and a look flashes through Danny's eyes as if he wanted to say something, but it disappears as he shakes his head. 

" _Yeah."_ He sighs, his eyes moving to the little body next to Steve. " _I should...We should probably head home."_ He says, words barely registering in Steve's head. 

As if hearing the words stirs her from her sleep, Grace's face scrunches up in a frown. " _Nooo~"_ She grumbles and wiggles a bit to search for the warmth of Steve, making satisfied noises when she finds his legs and rests against it. Danny looks so torn between letting her stay and waking her, but after a few seconds of looking between his daughter, Steve and the clock he sighs and shakes her shoulder. 

" _Monkey, we gotta go."_ He says and this time she whines and practically latches onto Steve's leg, who looks down at her in amusement and fondness. " _Please, baby, we'll come back tomorrow. It's Saturday so you can come earlier if your mom agrees."_ Danny knows exactly how to lure her in as she opens one eye to look up at him, and then cracks a sleepy smile. 

" _Okay. Bye, Steve."_ She yawns through her words and sits up in the bed to give Steve a hug, her arms wrapped securely around his neck and Steve never feels happier then when he gets his daily sleepy-Grace-hug. He grins as she jumps off and lets Danny put the jacket on her before they wave and head out. Danny gives Steve one last look before he leaves. 

" _Goodnight, Steve."_

" _Night, Danny."_


End file.
